Friday, March 12, 2010


Let me start off this blog with a few comments.  I love my Dad.  He's the best Dad in the world & I can honestly say that because he'd do anything for us girls.  I adore him for more reasons than I could even list.  Saying all that, he's also very funny.  Guys love him because he says things most men won't.  He's brutally honest & well - he's done a lot of crap jobs in his life & everyone loves to hear a funny story about a crap job.  He's a farmer & he has the best phrases & pronunciations of anyone I know.  They are classic Stuisms and they make me smile.  I thought I'd share - Mom, sisters, Ellen - feel free to chime in - there are too many for me to remember alone.

Oh - and even though my Dad may speak like a hick at times & say funny things, he's a very smart man.  He often shocks people with his love of reading.  Don't let his tongue fool you - he can do amazing math in his head and read a mean novel in record time! 

Here Dad rocks a super vest at the Vest Christmas Ever!  Then he tops off his daily look with a pair of Mom's readers.  He has no qualms about wearing the turquoise ones with glitter on the sides - he's a real man and he can rock glitter - even in the bank.  It's hard to take him serious, but by golly he does it!

Quotes to live by .  By Stuart Fox, tiller of the soil, lover of the trees.  Witnessed by no other than me :)

Digging like a badger.

He refers to the bed as a "work bench" - he says things like this to get a rise out of us girls - it always works!

You can shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one gets full faster - anytime you wish for something.

They don't know shit from shine-ola OR shit from apple butter.

When he's dead sure of something - he will always bet his LEFT nut on anything - I won it one time, but I don't know why he never bets his right one.  It's more productive I guess. haha

Kill'em all and let God sort them out - when something is competitive & you need to kick ace

You were just the sparkle in my eye at that time - when talking about us before we were born

I brought you into this world & I can take you out - I heard this quite a bit when I was a teenager!

Illinois - pronounced Ill-a-noise - yes he has always lived in this state

Toilet - pronounced French like Toil e ette

Useless as a boar with tits.  (For all you non-farm folk - a boar is a male pig - so why does it need tits?)

Sweating like a whore in church.  Yes - he's said that too many times to count.

Cold as a witches tit.  Apparently tits are a common word drop in his vocabulary.

Colder than a well diggers ass.

Heres the thing of it & heres the thing sis.  This leads up to his important talks.

Fries - as a plural pronounced fries - es

Congrantulations - just like its spelled people

It is what it is - this comes when you are having a discussion about something disappointing

It's like anything - this again starts a serious conversation

Tell him I said that - as I said before - the man is brutally honest & he wants you to tell everyone what he thinks - and honestly hes right most of the time!

Oh & this goes along with the last one - and I'd say that to his face

Smart's all in where ya are and what your'a doin

He's a good shit. 

Stiffer that a wedding night cock - (yeah he's said that more than once)

Sis - this is a name for me, Abbie, Maggie, Aubrie & Caroline - some how we always know who he's talking to.

Your ass is grass and i'm the f'ing lawn mower - I heard this one too many times when I was in trouble.  He knew how to put the fear of God in you with the point of his thick finger & the color change in his eyes. 

There's the blister, shows up after the works done.  He announces this to those who show up when the works done.

Son of a cup maker - I haven't heard this in a long time, but we have a paper cup factory in our town - so this statement makes perfect sense & is quite funny - I think anyway.

There are a few more, I left them out just out of pure courtesy.  They get a little more rough & inappropriate!  I was even shocked at some the boys told me.  I never knew Dad had any filter with us girls, but apparently there was a small filter on a few select words.  However, the F bomb is not included in that list.

Oh & Dad - if you read this - it's all in love! 


  1. I believe my Illinois father and yours may be long lost relatives! I've heard 90% of those and the ones I hadn't heard had me laughin! Gotta love those kind of honest people. There's just somethin about 'em

  2. Hilarious! He and my dad should write a book. I just made a memory book for my parent's anniversary and included all those classic quotes! ;) Stu, you are a gem! Thanks for sharing, Ann!

  3. oh man, when mom and would get in fights he would always give me the "hairy eyeball" and poke me in the chest, like a hard tap with his giant finger that made my sternum wanna cave in, and say "she is your mother!" and then go on to talk about how mom always came first, even before us girls and etc. I just love our dad so bad.

  4. *when mom and I would get in fights

  5. Heres the thing and the thing of it is how it goes. I am praying for his tongue, people. His heart is for Jesus but his mouth sometimes gets outta control. Gotta love him! He is a great husband and dad.

  6. North Aurora is super close to would be perfect. May is a great month to come. We move outside to a big booth!


Thank you so much for your kind words & support! I love hearing from you & read each and every comment you leave for me! ~Annie


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