I recently read a very interesting blog about the dynamic of siblings that have a special needs sibling in their family. It was very interesting stuff! Basically the point of it - treat your special needs child as you do your other child. Expect the same, discipline the same, value them the same - makes sense really.
For example, don't allow Ollie to hit without consequences just as I expect the same from Aubrie & Everett. I hope Aubrie and Everett will both go to college, or find a career they fall in love with - I hope the very same for Ollie. (PS - not everyone goes to college and that's ok - proof - my DaddyO - super successful farmer - can't spell for the life of him, but he can do anything!)
Really this topic hasn't crossed my mind much. Since we found out Ollie most likely had DS during my pregnancy, I knew my kids would love her no matter what, because she is their sister. And they do. They RAVE about her! And why not? She is pretty darn cute!
My kids are very young at 5 and 3. I really don't know what their lives will be like as they go through school, then college, and eventually married lives. I think Ollie will be a positive impact on their lives.
I think Ollie will honestly make them more compassionate and accepting of others. Something everyone could use more of. I also think they will learn patience, joy, and extreme love through Ollie Faith. In turn, I think Ollie Faith will learn so much from her big brother & sister - some of it good - some of it is a bit frightening - Everett has A LOT of ornery things in his bag of tools! Standing in the toilet is first on his list of lessons - oh boy I better prepare myself now!
My two sisters have greatly enriched my life. In fact, I can't imagine my life without Abbie & Maggie, my two best friends & partners in crime. I think Ollie will be the same for Aubrie and Everett regardless of her special needs. I think she will be extra-special to them!
I still believe their lives will be typical & we will be a very typical family - well actually we have an awesome family so scratch typical out! I envision a lot of slap fights, but a lot of hugs. A lot more tattling, and a lot more kisses. A lot of time outs & fit throwing, but even more moments of joy & laughter.
agree! Except I will say that even when we tell Brooke "no" we do it in a cutesy voice, but so do her brothers and sister (even when she messes with their stuff)...so she just laughs and thinks it's funny...must work on that...
ReplyDeleteoh, and there's alink on my FB page about a couple with DS in TX that's married...super cool!
and have you read http://confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.blogspot.com/
good stuff too...
I have to tell you there were a couple of kids with DS who went to school with my kids and thier parents did expect them to be just like everyone else, and they were, they ran for office, went on dates and one girl was even elected Homecoming Queen because she was just like everyone else and they all love her!!
ReplyDeleteYou have hit the nail on the head Annie. Aubrey and Everett will love Ollie because she is their baby sister and she will idolize them because they are her "bigs".
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing a parent can do, in my humble opinion, is help their children be friends, not just siblings. My kids fought like crazy when they were kids and it used to make me sad, but today as adults and as teens they were very close because we all spent so much time together as a family - fighting and all. My daughter has a mental illness that will affect her for the rest of her life, her brother is her biggest cheerleader and supporter. And we know that if it comes down to it, he will look out for her best interests if we are not in the picture. Although her special needs are totally different than Miss Ollie, we, like you, have the same goals and expectations for her that we did for her brother. Those have always been: be happy, healthy and self-sufficient. That is what she strives for and I hope she makes it, but she will always have a great support team behind her if she needs extra help. Go Team Reid! Ann {{Ollie}}
Loved this :)...My kids adore Russell and they are learning so much from him. Siblings are the very best gift any parent can give their child.
ReplyDeleteMy girls were 3 and 5 when Alayna was born and I really do think (special needs or not) that having a sibling at those ages is such a special gift! Even tho Alayna is now 5, I still love to see how they almost "baby" their little sister. They love her to pieces! A much different relationship than Rachel and Emma (who are exactly 2 years apart).
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record, when I read Ollie has DS, I immediately thought, "dude, Ollie has a DS already?" As in a Nintendo DS...*sigh*...Must read posts better, haha!!
Cara
Found your blog through Miss Maggie Rae ( my cousin ) just wanted to say your little sweetie is to precious! I loved this post! Stop by my blog anytime...i'm just getting started ;)
ReplyDeleteI've heard from a gal that is now an adult & has a brother with DS that he was always a pretty good litmus test for her friends. If they treated him well, then they would treat her well. And if they treated him badly, then they weren't worth spending time with. Interesting, I think.
ReplyDelete