Saturday, May 28, 2011

Tough Talks...

As surgery approaches, I am doing really well.

I don't feel scared.

I am excited.  Excited to get a healthy heart.  Excited to see Ollie thrive post-surgery.

She is so full of life right now, I can't imagine what she will be like when she feels great!  I know I will be nervous as the date approaches.

I can honestly feel the prayers surrounding my family.  All 3,000 prayer postcards are gone.  They went fast, unbelievably fast.  So if you have any left pass them out, get them on fridges, hairdressers counters, and stores so people can see her face and pray over her name.

After we passed out all the postcards, Aubrie started asking questions.

Trust me, talking about open heart surgery with your 5 year old is just something you never want to do.  She was scared.  She wanted to know if Ollie would die.  It hurt my heart.  It hurt for myself, but it hurt a lot for Aubrie.  She's 5 & honestly this journey we are on just really sucks sometimes.  That's not the nicest & most faithful thing I can say, but yes open heart surgery on your baby with other little kids in your house that understand what's going on - well it just does suck.

I did my best.  I reassured her that yes, Ollie could die, but I don't believe that she will die.  I don't want her to be scared.  I told  her that without this surgery Ollie would die so this surgery will save her life.  I told her that Ollie has the best doctors in the world.  She will be at the hospital where my brothers were & they had the best doctors in the world taking care of them, and they truly did.  She was worried because my brothers died because their heart was broken too.  It told her they couldn't fix Danny & Doug's heart & they live with Jesus celebrating in heaven, but the doctors can fix Ollie's heart.  That her heart is different than Danny & Doug and that they fix hearts like Ollie's every single day.  At the end of the conversation she gave me a hug & skipped off.

I think I did a good job calming her fears.  I just pray that when we are in St. Louis with Ollie and my family that Aubrie & Everett are not scared.  My cousin, Ellen, is taking care of them for a few days since Maggie & Kylie will be with us.  Ellen is like a big sister to me & I know the kids will have a blast with her and her 3 kids.  I just hope she's up for the task!  Everett will keep her on her toes for sure :)

Oh and tomorrow is all about Ollie! First she gets dedicated at church - then a lunch at Mom's to celebrate!  Prepare for pictures because she's going to be super cute tomorrow!


  1. I think that reassuring them is so hard, but being real is the best...and so important. We were very real with our girls and they did great. It was not seeing us daily that was hard on them. It's like a woman forgetting labor though...they soon forget that you were every gone and that their sister was so surgery is all about LOVE! BIG LOVE!!!! We're pulling for you girl!

  2. Annie,
    We are going through this same thing in our household. My 13 year old understands a lot more about what is going on, and I have been more frank and upfront with him because he DOES understand. But I ran across the same issue with my 6 yr old stepson...what do I tell him and what do I leave out? How do I make him understand the gravity of the situation without terrifying him? I started broaching the subject with him when we got a date for surgery...trying to prepare him for the reality that his daddy and I will not be able to see him for a couple of weeks and that Lydia may be sick when she gets home. We had issues when we were in the hospital after Lydia was born..we couldn't call because my cell phone didn't get signal and with all of my complications, we didn't get to let him come see us for several days after she was born. He felt that we didn't love him, that Lydia was more important than him, etc. Its hard when you are dealing with a difficult situation to begin with, and being 6 years old its hard to understand why you can't jump in the car and come see your brand new sister or why she has to have all the tubes and monitors and stay in the hospital for so long....The first thing he said to me while I was explaining that while she's in the hospital this time that he won't be able to come see her ( I think that it would be too traumatic, even if they would allow it!) was "I can't come see her because you're afraid I will catch what she has in my heart?" Oh boy!
    We haven't even broached the subject of DS with him. I think that he wouldn't understand just yet, and I also think that at this point it's more important that he just LOVE her...
    As always prayers for Ollie, and the rest of you as well. Looking forward to your pictures tomorrow!

  3. That's a tough conversation to have and I think you handled it perfectly !

    Have a wonderful day tomorrow ... God Bless Ollie Faith !


  4. I can't wait to see the pictures from the Dedication. I would have loved to have been there, but I am Graduation Mom today. :)

    My prayer cards are ALL OVER the the hospital in the chapel, in the hands of the Chaplains and some Physicians and Nurses, given to many faithful and loving friends, and of course with the family. :)

    I will stop by for a visit sometime on the 10th when I'm working down there.

    I am sending you and youre entire family healing thoughts of peace and love, Annie. :)

    Big Hugs....


  5. thank goodness you haven't had the tough talks with me. i just cried at this one. hopefully i'm not as much of a mess at surgery as i was when she was born. geesh i was ridiculous. i keep telling people that it's an odd feeling to look forward to a surgery, especially when it's on a baby, but it's true. i can't wait to hear her "real" personality cause it seems like she's got one already with her flirting and cooing. I just love her so bad!

  6. Kids ask the toughest questions! I think you did an amazing job answering about Ollies surgery. Its good to keep things just plain and simple, and always honest. Great job!! Ollie is in our prayers!

  7. Wow, you did good! Being honest is the best way to approach things with children. I love this picture of your girls and Ollie's outfit is darling!

    Prayers are going out to you and your family and for a safe and productive surgery!


  8. what you said is pretty much exactly what I said...
    and you're right, it does suck...

  9. Sounds like you handled the explanation really well! Great job!! It can be tough for kids to understand, but I think that being honest with them as much as you can is always the best approach. Well done!


Thank you so much for your kind words & support! I love hearing from you & read each and every comment you leave for me! ~Annie


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