Saturday, December 17, 2011

His Tool...

I had an epiphany today.

Have you ever stood in church, head bowed, praying so hard that God USE you.  That he make you a tool for his will?  That he will show you your true purpose.

I have many times.  I always expected that answer to come in the form of  "Sunday school teacher, sing in the choir, welcome team, etc, etc."  Don't get me wrong - all amazing jobs, but they never have came to me.

Today I realized that sometimes God answers this prayer through a storm.  He gives you the biggest storm of your life and calms you through it, and how you react is how he uses you.

I realized he is using me & has been for some time.  He handed us a diagnosis of Down Syndrome & heart defect for our sweet child.  He watched us mourn, he watched us fall apart, he watched us put back the pieces, he watched us bring her into the world, he watched us fall in love with her, he watched us hand her over for surgery afraid to lose her, and he held our hands as we waited for her to heal up and head home.

It was a storm.  It was brutal to my heart at times.  The memories make me cry, and some of the thoughts I had during that time make me ashamed of myself.  BUT through that storm I praised him.  I knew he knew what he was doing and I knew he knew what was best for our family, and did he ever.

She is the perfect child, the child we wanted so badly.  Even when society sees her as imperfect & pities us for they know no better - I pity them because they don't have a child like her.  We are blessed!

Through this journey he grew our faith so we could be his tools.  If you can survive through the worst you can sure as heck appreciate his best!!  

Now I get to pray for friends going on the same journey I was on.  I get emails & I get to encourage these other women & Moms who have breaking hearts like mine once was.  I have made friends with women I would never otherwise know.  I can look into the eyes of another family and have an instant connection because they too know the blessings in our lives.

It's amazing how God has been using me, and how I have been blatantly unaware that I was his tool & have been for some time for a unique purpose.  I advocate for special needs, I pray for heart hero children, I donate money to bring home orphans (orphans merely because they have Down Syndrome), I mourn hard when someone in this community has a loss, I cry happy tears when someone shares something amazing.  

My heart has been changed for the better.  He has used this storm to shape me into a better woman, into a better Mom, into a better Christian.

So when you get handed a storm, praise him.  Just praise him.  You never know where he is going to lead you, but you do know that his will, his plans will be the best.


  1. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Phil. 4:4

  2. A love-bomber just dropping by to say 'Amen' to all that. God bless you and your dear ones.

  3. Truer words were never spoken Annie. Ann

  4. You got it exactly right.... I am beyond thankful to share this journey with you. Your encouragement, your love, your prayers (as well as many others) brought us through OHS unscathed, and praising His name for the amazing gift of our daughter.
    Even when we feel that we have lost our purpose, God is continually guiding us towards it. Pretty amazing. :)
    Love ya!

  5. Absolutely beautiful Annie! And so true. It brought tears to my eyes reading this. We have been through a lot with Maddoc as well. And though it's been hard, there are so many things I have learned from him.

  6. There is no pity for a beautiful family God hand chose for Ollie Faith! Don't you let anyone get you down! That girl is a bonafide pure angel. Her soul is part of heaven's great plan. God uses you to do His good work! well done beautiful family. I love knowing you so much! Hugs Ann


Thank you so much for your kind words & support! I love hearing from you & read each and every comment you leave for me! ~Annie


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