Some days I cry...some days I cry hard and nearly weep (thank the lord for Jade and his understanding)...some days I laugh until I cry and snort. What can I say? I'm hormonal, I have a lot of stress on my heart, and well I'm human...and a Mom. Ever since I became a Mom I cry more easily - American Idol a stupid commercial - you get the point. I can't be strong all the time. However, I try not to cry in front of others - thank the good lord I can stick to that because I don't like to share my emotions with the world...ironic considering I can blog about them, but I'm weird like that.
Anyway, I have done really well recently. I've been praying hard & I know people are praying for me daily and I can tell it makes a huge difference in my outlook and my emotions. Plus, I'm ready to meet Ollie and let God reveal his plan & his purpose in my life - no matter what his plan is - I'm ready for it!
Anyway, on to my point, yesterday I read a blog and she got me to crying. I cry about every time I read her blog, but in a good way. Many of you may know her blog, but it's beautiful. She takes the most amazing photos of her children & her love of life just jumps out at you. Her baby girl is turning one, and this is what she wrote here. If you read anything today, for me, please read this.
She (and many many other blogging mamas which I appreciate way more than they ever ever know) make me know that I can do this. I can live this life. This will be fine - actually better than fine. I will cherish this life & not wish for anything different. This group of mama bloggers are far better for me than any book I have EVER read. Trust me - avoid the books - they are too medical most of the time - ugh those books. These blogging mamas share their lives and the beauty of their children for us to see - forever changing hearts and minds. They are even making steps to change the world - to change society for the better. I admire these women. They take the time to personally e-mail me, get to know me, pray for me, and they send me so much love & hope through their notes because they have been just like me in the before stage of this game of life. It wasn't long ago I didn't know what blogs were about, and this year without blogs - I don't know that I would be the same person.
So to you mamas (and all my blog friends) that read my blog, follow my story, await for Ollie to arrive, pray for me, and personally contact me - thank you from the bottom of my heart! I'm still shocked over the out pour of love you have for my dear family!
PS - I had to share this because it is blowing my mind. My entire life - 28 years - I have been a nail biter. Not a mild one either, a ridiculously terrible nail biter. I quit for short spurts, or I got acrylic nails, but I always went back to my horrible habit. I even prayed about it, and kept my habit a going. My hands embarrassed me and I hid them as much as I could, but I still bit my nails no matter what. In all of this - in the most stress I've ever had - I quit biting my nails!!?!? I just up and quit. If you honestly know me - it is the weirdest thing ever!! I keep catching myself hiding my fingers & curling them up so someone can't see them, when I realize I stopped that terrible habit. I don't know how or why I did it. Maybe I just figured at this point there was too much worry in my life to even have time to bite my nails - I have no idea! Honestly it was probably all the prayers I made when I was 14 - 20 years old hoping for a change that never came. I don't know, but I just can't believe myself!