Through Ollie's Eyes

I plead with you to take some time to read through this.  It's probably one of the most raw posts I have ever put out there and it needs to be read, it needs to be spread, it needs to CHANGE your heart and hearts around you.

I want to offer you a view through Ollie's eyes, through my daughter's heart.

Can you imagine walking into a room and because of the characteristics on your face you are automatically labeled and discounted.  Like you are wearing a giant sign around your head that says "Treat me differently!"  That people immediately discredit your intelligence, your ability to communicate, your ability to learn.  That they don't know how to treat you, what to expect from you, and because of that they lower all expectations because you couldn't possibly be capable of "typical" peer interaction.  Can you imagine people being scared of you because you aren't the "same"?

Can you imagine working twice as hard as your peers to walk?  Can you imagine spending endless hours a week in therapy so you can speak more clearly?  So you can write your name?  So you can cut paper?  So you can jump or stand on one foot?  Seriously would you be that dedicated to doing everything your peers are doing - would you work that hard?

Can you imagine what it would feel like to hear someone drop the word retarded right beside you like it was some hilarious joke?  A tard - so - so funny right?  To have jokes made about you about the "short bus".  Mongoloid?  Fucktard?  To be labeled Downs and referred to as Downs - not your name but she is Downs?  Really?  Because my daughter is not one of those things but others label her as such.  It sounds terrible doesn't it - but I've heard ALL those this week.  This one single week.

Can you even fathom for one tiny second how that would make you feel?  Because as her Mom.  I feel all of that.  It cuts me, it makes me cry, it makes me strong, it makes me mad, then it humbles me to BE THE CHANGE I so desperately want to see in the world.

When we know better - we do better!

Ollie Faith is 3.  I don't see Down Syndrome in Ollie.  I very rarely even remember she has Down Syndrome because she is that much like a typical toddler.  I treat her like she's 3, she has the same expectations, same discipline, and she rises to the occasion like every other 3 year old.  Ollie is funny, ornery, super stubborn, majorly sweet, and a enriches the life of our family in more ways than I can count.

But this week she has been devalued in small ways that compound each day.  Because each person that drops a derogatory term around me devalues her life.  Each person that underestimates her devalues her life.  We can do better.  She deserves better.  I only wish that people saw HER not a diagnosis.  That they wanted to know HER & learn about HER not how to treat her differently.  That they stopped their friends from using words that were hurtful and replaced those words with respect.  Because she deserves it.  

Ollie works so hard to make everyone around her feel loved and important.  It's her gift in life, her gift from God to bring and spread joy - but if you are not open to HER - the real her - you will miss all of it.

Please stop labeling people and making assumptions but ask questions, get educated, be respectful, make friends, and help us change the world for her and all her friends because they deserve better.

#IBet

I posted this on Facebook, but really felt the need to blog this too.  I know i'm rarely present on this blog & need to be better about this but I advocate a lot on FB.  I feel someone needs to see this today...feel free to share my #IBet story...


Recently one of my friends shared the most inspiring story I have ever read - she is a "single" military wife (while her husband was deployed a year - he is home now! ) with 2 small children living in Japan & she has officially built an income by helping others that allows her to retire her spouse so he can be home and present in their lives. A man on a plane tried to belittle her for being away from her children for work, and her response was priceless & had him in tears - and me too! She in turn challenged us to write our own stories so here is mine...

#Ibet if you were pregnant and received a Down Syndrome diagnosis & open heart surgery diagnosis that you would still celebrate the child that God was giving you. That you would understand that unanswered prayers are always the best! That you would see that she is beautiful, smart, funny, and perfectly made.

#Ibet if you received this diagnosis that you would NEVER call someone or something "retarded" again. That it would pierce your heart every time you heard it and you would regret every time it had been uttered from your mouth in the past.

#Ibet that after you handed your tiny baby over to a team of surgeons praying for God to hold her hands so she wouldn't be scared, that they could repair that broken heart so you could take her home again, and that her pain could be managed because it tore your heart to hear - that you would never take for granted every day of life. That you wouldn't fret & moan over the minor details that hold you back from life but that you would celebrate the small things like they were big things and you would turn it all over to HIM.

#Ibet that the fear you once had about how your new baby would impact her siblings would turn into great thankfulness. Thankfulness that they have a sibling that is special! She makes them better because she teaches them patience, kindness, and complete and total acceptance. That you will know they are better because they have each other.

#Ibet she would constantly blow your socks off - that you'd witness her walking, talking, potty training, and all of it would bring tears to your eyes because you've been given papers & books that said she wouldn't, couldn't, or would NEVER do this that or the other...until she was way older or possibly never - and you'd fist pump the air every time because she is just that awesome & because she's breaking the molds!

#Ibet you'd talk about her a lot because people NEED to learn from her. That adults need education MORE than the kids! That you'd have a constant fear that it wouldn't be kids that view her as less than - but actual adults that breed that into their children...so you would share her beauty, smile, and daily glow to teach them that what information was handed to them was wrong so they can learn and teach their children better. It starts with adults - not kids.

#Ibet you would push for inclusion, high school, college - because you know she's capable of anything! You wouldn't EVER limit her!

#Ibet your life would be bigger, richer, and better because you learned what a life with Down Syndrome meant. That you would embrace it. That she would be JUST like your other kids. You would treat her the same, respect her the same, set the same expectations, and she would rise to the occasion every time. That you would forget Down Syndrome in your daily life but thank God daily for her and the lessons you have learned.

#Ibet Down Syndrome would bless your life too. 

*these photos are my property*