Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Happy Tears Day

There are points in our lives where things go absolutely wrong - in our eyes.  They just don't pan out as we expect them to at all.  My Dad has the perfect statement for these days, but since I try to avoid cussing I'll just call them a crap sandwich so you get the point.  He said some days you eat a crap sandwich for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for weeks, then one day maybe just for lunch and dinner, and eventually you aren't eating them at all except here and there.

I feel like that statement perfectly sums up my late summer fall.

Earlier this fall my worst nightmare could have happened to my kids.  I won't go into details, but I thought at the time, this is the worst worry Jade & I will ever have to deal with ever.  It was awful to say the least.  Then, we found out about Ollie.  Again, more crap sandwiches every day, day after day until we found out the truth of her heart.  Then it was like we were given a huge Subway crap sandwich platter. 

Aubrie & Everett this summer - they are best friends!

However, the entire time - Jade & I happily ate our crap sandwiches with smiles on our face.  How do you not take what God gives you and accept it as a gift and move on?  How do you no longer act like yourself because you have an extra heart ache?  We just aren't capable of that because we are generally very happy people, so we accepted everything about Ollie and we marched forward armed with a strong faith in the Lord that Ollie will be fine, and a deep love of each other that has only grown strong. 

We rarely take pictures of ourselves, but celebrating 5 years of marriage in 2009!

Then, on top of everything I hit a deer with my "newish" minivan.  Really - at that point Jade and I laughed hysterically - I kid you not - we laughed hard because what else could go wrong? 

Well yesterday the news about Ollie was great.  Granted her heart still needs fixed and it will be major, but nothing else bad was told to us!  She's growing & she's healthy!!  Praise the good lord - I was beyond thrilled.  Then today, I got our insurance bill.  Let me tell you I have fretted and fretted over medical bills.  The two level II ultrasounds and one heart echo cost $2,400, but they forgot to bill insurance so I prayed that we'd only owe 20% of that amount.  I worried about all these bills and future bills - I imagine heart surgery isn't cheap, but I really don't care because she needs it.  

Today I saw the bill go through insurance, and since everything was performed in office it is covered by my co-pay.  I will only pay $20 for each very expensive very detailed ultrasound & heart echos we get.  I was in happy tears.  Seriously I will have 4 of these before January plus whatever tests Peoria performs - just a co-pay is a bargain!  We are beyond blessed!  Plus, yesterdays appointment - extra goodness!

So today I have almost bawled two times - happy tears - I'm hormonal and can't help it.  No crap sandwich for breakfast, lunch, or dinner today friends.  It is a good day and God is great!  He really really has blessed us so many ways in our lives.  Ollie is a blessing in herself - no matter what she looks like, no matter the level of her intelligence, no matter how many surgeries and scars mark her skin - we love her no matter what.  God gave her to us when we least expected her to come and for that my cup overfloweth today.  And dear lord I'm in tears again!

Other blessings in my today:
I figured out how to adjust my office chair so I don't feel like I'm going to pop all day - this is a big deal!!

The specialist told us we could also get stats from Saint Louis on Ollie's type of heart defect & surgery, and we'd have the option between Saint Louis & Peoria.  I emailed St. Louis yeseterday to get stats - today the nurse calls me!!!  She's getting my records as we speak & will have the pediatric cardiologist personally call me to discuss so we can decide between Peoria & Saint Louis.  I've waited 3 almost 4 weeks for a Peoria appointment so I'm very excited about this call, plus it's a whole hour closer one way - so visits from family & Dr. appointments would be much much easier on us all.  We'll only go there though if their success rates for AV Canal defects are better of course!


  1. Congrats on a happy news day!

  2. That's great news! Personally - I feel better about St Louis, more specialists, more universities, bigger hospital = more advanced?? - and they freakin' called you. Geesh Peoria. Just in case you wanted to know what I would tell you if you were my little sister. har har

    I can't believe you hit a deer with your Swagger Wagon! I just totaled my car a month ago by hitting a deer in Southern Indiana. I was just really thankful I was alone in car and not preggers. So thankful you and Ollie were ok.

  3. Great post. While I don't have children of my own, I know that all of us have "crap sandwich" days, months and even years"
    That comment reminded me of a patient my mom had her first year of nursing. It was the early 80's and she was working on the cancer floor at a downtown hospital in ATL.
    A patients mom walked in to her 16yr old sons room and found his friends shaving his head. She freaked out. He knew he was going to lose his hair during chemo and wanted to shave his head so he didn't have chunks of hair falling out.
    His response was "mom, sometimes life hands you a "crap" sandwich and you just have to take a bite"

  4. Great news Annie. Insurance can be a nightmare, sounds like yours is covering well. Couldn't help but laugh at "crap sandwiches" hilarious! Glad to hear you have options of another hospital.

  5. As someone who has eaten crap sandwiches for the last 5 years herself - I know how sweet good news tastes !

    Here's to life's sweetness and beautiful baby Ollie !



Thank you so much for your kind words & support! I love hearing from you & read each and every comment you leave for me! ~Annie


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